I’ve decided to make a #vss365 ongoing story about a dragon in honor of my dragon obsessed kids. We’ll see how this goes. – Feb 20, 2018
Some #infiltrate castles. I prefer a head-on attack, though it helps when you can fly over the walls, the arrows don’t pierce your scales, and you can breathe fire at the guards.
No one runs from a dragon faster than a knight or guard in chain mail or full plate. ::fire emoji:: – Feb 18, 2020
You can blame the metal armor. Its #purpose was to protect them, but the metal heated to infernal temperatures when I blasted them with my breath. Kind of gave them a yummy grilled taste, though chomping through the metal wasn’t great. I normally just left them for dead. – Feb 19, 2020
Peons are way better than #soldiers. Only the bones are crunchy, the meat is tastier, and they usually faint rather than run away. Who likes chasing their next meal anyway? – Feb 20, 2020
I really need this next castle. My last one is completely full of my treasures and it’s time to expand to a fourth castle. A better #solution would be to have minions constantly build me new castles next to each other, and I’ve tried that, but I keep eating the minions. – Feb 21, 20202
Once the humans plead for #peace and offered me unrestricted access to the network of caves in their mountains.
Have you seen how tiny caves are? How am I supposed to keep all my treasures in them? How am I supposed to fly in?
At least I can fly over castle walls! – Feb 22, 2022
Castles are also full of #belle snacks. Dresses aren’t crunchy and women don’t poke me with knives as I try to eat them. It’s much easier when they faint and let me do my job. – Feb 24, 2020
I do avoid haunted castles though. #spirits fight back and steal my valuables, and I’d rather fly to the next castle where my precious treasures won’t be hidden from me. I can eat a human, but my fire and fangs are nothing to a vengeful ghost who was there first. – Feb 25, 2022
I don’t kill all the humans. I leave enough alive to spread rumors of my #unspoken horrors. Plus they make it easier to find the next castle when I need it. – Mar 9, 2020
#Word always travels faster if I don’t eat them all. Investigations on why a castle suddenly stopped contact with the world takes months. Humans can only do so much on grounded horses.
Sometimes I regret hunting all the pegasi. – Mar 10, 2020
As I approach the jagged castle atop massive cliffs, bells sound. I roar, flames bathing the cold air before me and steam rising into my own cloud. Knights desperately try to #organize themselves and pikemen line along the walls.
This was going to be too easy. – Mar 20, 2020
They steadied pikes in a ready position, men calling out and some fainting. But the pikes were useless, and their swords were too #short. I burned them instantly, my flames traveling down the shafts and singeing their hands until the weapons were dropped. More screams. – Mar 23, 2020
A single #stork launched itself from a far wall. A flying target. I swooped to the side, my wings beating heavily to lift me higher as I chased the panicked bird.
It stood no chance, for after I missed it with my crunching jaws, I roasted it with my roar of frustration. – Mar 24, 2020
The nobles are hiding #cozy in their keep, praying they’ll survive and their knights will protect them.
Their prayers mean nothing as I roast the heavily armored men. Someday they’ll learn to wear something flameproof. – Mar 25, 2020
The dark, billowing clouds join the petty humans, and #rainwater soon fights my flames. Fat droplets fall lazily, not enough to put out the fires but just enough to make men slip as they flee.
I snap at one of the few soldiers dumb enough to think the rain will stop me. – May 3, 2020
Yet I miss him, and he scrambles into the stone tower. I bathe the opening with my flames. Let him feel #cozy with the other soldiers while I crank up the heat and make them sweat.
They can’t stay in there forever. – Feb 3, 2021
When the men don’t come out, I turn to attack a new group of shaking soldiers. A few are rushing my back, probably hoping to surprise me from behind. But there isn’t enough #room for them to dodge me, and I sweep them into a wall with my tail. – Feb 7, 2021
The brave soldiers are gone, and I roast the keep’s windows until the royalty are dead or trying to flee. I pause just long enough to eat someone fleeing too slowly in a dress, then I resume my fire.
Another battle #lost for the humans, another castle conquered for me. – Feb 13, 2021